Image: MGM Studios
We are in a post-The Young Pope world now, people.
This is the second article in a series dedicated to exposing the hollowness and inadequacies found throughout—the pontifically named—Peak TV as well as suggesting some better streaming options available to stave off that gnawing ennui of yours. Check out my first list of alternatives to overrated shows like Orange is the New Black, here.
People in general are getting a bit better at detecting bullshit TV. Everyone is slowly coming to the realization that just because it airs on HBO or Netflix, doesn’t mean that a series is automatically good. But with content-mill after content-mill depending on your clicks to sustain their existence, the pressure is on to crank out as many glowing internet reviews and ripped-straight-off-of-Reddit fan theories as possible in a desperate attempt to quash any dissent from analytic viewers.
So until it is legal to physically strike anyone who utters the phrase “Golden Age of Television”, I will continue to list all the reasons why pretty much every flag-bearer of the Prestige TV genre should be dismissed from your queue. Take my advice and you will be free from having to figure out yet another shitty app just to watch oh, I don’t know, Game of Thrones but in space this time?
Listen, there might be some spoilers. I’ll try to limit them to only the shows that I‘ll be talking shit about though. Shows such as…
Continue reading “5 More Overrated TV Shows and What You Should Be Watching Instead”
Why all award shows are demoralizing mind rot.
Remember when someone took twelve years to make a movie and it was just okay? I mean, it still won all of the awards it was supposed to—the film industry is too mathematical for it not to—but I have to disagree with the folks over at Roger “we gave Gigli three stars” Ebert dot com’s assessment of Boyhood as “indescribably moving.” And not just because calling a thing indescribable is, itself, technically a type of description.*
Can you imagine the decade-long boner that this director had to have for himself, though? Just going to bed every night, knowing that in ten years he would be blindly issued a rubber stamp of approval by the fucking Methuselahs who vote on this shit. That all he needed to do was show up with a camera every so often and pay Coldplay some royalties. Think about the 4,383 days he spent believing he’s creating this haterproof time capsule, and that anyone who doesn’t want to look like an uncultured knave would have to nod along because it’s indescribably fucking moving!
Continue reading “Award Shows Are Fucking Terrible”
We are living in the Golden Age of TV. That is, if you’re some cornball who actually talks like that. Yes, while every hour long tragicomedy that graces the small screen isn’t necessarily the life-changing mega event that people might have you believe, television as a whole is just a lot better than it was last decade. You guys do remember when TV used to just suck, right? It got so bad that we started to grade shows on a curve—hence, Lost.
We seem to have the opposite problem now though. Because each new show that comes out has a writer attached who used to work on Breaking Bad, we just assume it’s going to be worth watching for a whole eighty hours of our lives. It’s kind of like how an artist would get recognized by the Louvre for one painting and then, whatever he’d throw together next, museums would just exhibit that shit anyway, even if it was a literal toilet.
The trend of binge-watching doesn’t seem to be helping much either. Think about it. Instead of having a week in between each installment to ruminate on whether or not that thing you just watched had any actual value, you are presented with the instant gratification of the next episode with no time to assess the show’s merits. Well, not until Netflix reminds you of your crippling ennui, of course. And so, much like Netflix, when it comes to these five shows I have to ask: Are you STILL watching??
Continue reading “The 5 Most Overrated TV Shows and What You Should Be Watching Instead”