Image: James Porter
No. No your toilet paper is not killing you. Let’s just get that out of the way up front.
I don’t think it’s even looking at you funny. Sorry for the clickbait title, but ‘when in Rome’ and all of that. Real talk, big picture, it probably is killing you in some insidious, climate change way. What isn’t killing you, amirite? Still, if your sanitary tissue is hiding some murderous secret, I don’t know about it, and it’s not why I baited you into reading my rant anyway. No, today I’d like to talk about something else your toilet paper is not doing: it is NOT cleaning your butthole, you disgusting, feces encrusted animal.