If you were to take a sample of the world’s greatest human minds — Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr, Paul Rudd — you will notice an overlying feature shared by all of them. Is it kindness? Sincerity? General altruism? No. These things are dwarfed in comparison to the one stark truth, the one glaringly awe striking similarity in this little Venn diagram of awesomeness. That one trait, friends, is CHARM.
Our specialists have been hard at work to quantify the charm element so that we can better understand and utilize it. We’ll be reporting those findings in a series on the top ten most charming shit ever made. This week’s most charming list: The Most Charming Hip Hop Samples Ever Used.
Continue reading “Top 10 Most Charming Hip Hop Samples Ever Used”
“So where you from man?” He asked. He wore a flat bill hat that rested on his head at an impossible angle. Not quite 45 degrees and slanted to point upward, leaving the impression that it wasn’t adjusted purposefully, but it was, and any human who has ever worn a hat knew it. He was addressing a man with the same exact demeanor as himself. Slightly hunched to a point, to purposefully exude a carefree and relaxed nature. But, like the other guy’s hat, it was all show. Made to seem at nature with its environment but decidedly not at the same time.
“You know, I’m from Cleveland and shit man… You know. Around.”
“Word, word. Me too.” Said the first guy. He was all chin and all angles. They made geometry into conversation and I had to admire that. All juxtaposed into cool stances like a Picasso piece. Proto-Cubism in motion. It was at this point that they started to shuffle around each other awkwardly, hands stuffed in pockets, chin nods thrown at each other like rice at a wedding. Before long one asked the inevitable question; “So, like, where from around Cleveland?” The other guy reluctantly named a suburb to much the delight of his adversary. “No shit! I’m from-!” He lists another Cleveland suburb. It doesn’t matter which. I watch the whole shame dance as it unfolds. We’re all outside a bar in suburban Columbus, Ohio. I’m smoking a cigarette and I haven’t said a goddamn word.
Continue reading “Bury My Heart in Stars Hollow – How The Gilmore Girls Reinforced My Black Identity”
By the time Kanye West released his much anticipated fourth studio album, 808s and Heartbreak, the world had already grown tired of the auto¬tuned vocoder voice popularized by T-pain and emulated, repeatedly, by a multitude of mediocre artists. Every singer, rapper, and producer living in their mother’s basement who saved up every penny from their retail I.T. job to buy Ableton already knew the trend was nearing its death rattle. None of that deterred Kanye West from releasing AN ENTIRE ALBUM OF AUTO-TUNED VOCALS, spewing lazily written lyrics over admittedly catchy but repetitive beats. If not for the sheer size and buoyancy of his ego he would have drowned along with the record. This cautionary tale speaks to the dangers of over saturating the social market. Too much of any one thing, no matter how unique, will turn the people against you (I resist bringing up the Scary Movie franchise, it’s already embarrassing enough for everybody) and it seems that we’ve reached this boiling point with movie and show remakes as well. A friend accurately pointed out once, that there will eventually be an entire generation whose whole upbringing will be on hand me downs, remakes, retcons, and nothing of original substance. And while this downer of an observation may eventually come to fruition, I assert that there is still room for one more remake, a franchise that nerds and 30 to 40 somethings everywhere have been waving an itchy finger over the restart button almost since its conception. I put it to you, dear readers THE ARGUMENT TO REMAKE HIGHLANDER
Continue reading “We Might as Well Just Remake Highlander”